A Time to be Grateful

The Christmas season has always been a time of celebration and excitement in our household and it brings me joy to see this love of the season carry on in my children as they create their own traditions and memories with their families. No matter how busy December becomes, my rituals must include time to gratefully reflect on all the blessings life has given me.

Inevitably memories of distressing and worrisome holiday seasons resurface as well, which only serves to remind me how truly fortunate I am. Regrettably, over the past few years December didn’t turn out according to expectations and it began to feel as though our family Decembers were jinxed—rather than the joyful times we were accustomed to.

Being a mom of a congenital heart patient meant life could be unpredictable and regrettably, illness doesn’t take a holiday. There was the year Lorie suffered an embolism near Christmas and our celebrations were instantly replaced with hospital vigils. She returned home the day before Christmas, very ill, with the advice to get her affairs in order. She and I never take heeded that part of the drama, choosing rather to be grateful she had survived and was home for Christmas. I never lost faith and she never lost her will.

Three years later she suddenly became seriously ill during a routine hospital visit and was rushed into Intensive Care by a panicked pre-transplant team. Two weeks later she was given a hospital pass on Christmas Eve to go to a nearby hotel, allowing her to celebrate with her husband and children. Christmas Eve dinner consisted of a bowl of tomato soup eaten in bed, and without a doubt it was her best Christmas Eve dinner ever!

Later that winter Lorie underwent her miraculous heart transplant and since then we never gave our Christmas jinx another thought. Those past illnesses were far behind us. Each subsequent festive season has become more and more reason to celebrate and this year is no exception. However, it also brings a reminder of how unprepared we were a short year ago for what the winter of 2014 would bring. Lorie’s miraculous recovery was cut short not by her heart, but by a brain infection requiring yet another emergency life-threatening surgery.

This season I don’t need gifts, parties or sparkling trees. The fact that Lorie is here to celebrate with us is reason enough for me to enjoy another perfect Christmas. Her chances of survival were slim and recovery to a productive life even slimmer, so watching her back caring for her family and carrying out daily chores is more than we could have hoped for. The fact that she’s leading a quieter, calmer life definitely isn’t a downside and although she struggles at times to comprehend what this last illness has brought to her, she’s happy and content with life today. All the Christmas glitter and celebration is just “icing on the cake!”

Sadly, every situation doesn’t bring desired outcomes. My dearest friend just lost her daughter to a brain tumor after eight long years of battling her disease. It’s hard at this time to see blessings in this but over the years my friend’s daughter regularly reminded her family that her illness was indeed a blessing and her greatest teacher. She never gave up her spirit, showed anger nor despaired with her fate, and even as her life came to an end, she taught those who knew her best the meaning of courage and unconditional love by living every day she was given to the fullest. She left us all with the gift of having known her.

What I’ve learned from these years of ups and downs with Lorie is that Christmas remains the season for blessings and wonders even when they’re disguised otherwise. I also know for sure that it’s important not to judge or fear the future by what’s occurring in the present because we don’t understand the larger plan. Outcome isn’t always what we desire but nevertheless it always brings its miracles with it. We just have to be aware.

I wish everyone a safe, happy and prosperous holiday season and may your blessings be many.