12/21/2011 2:33 PM
By Kim Edgren
I had a lot of ideas for this blog post, with the holidays and all the craziness that comes with them, but then I went to yoga last night. Yoga is something I have really enjoyed in the past and it was about this time last year that I started to make excuses to not go. Excuses are something I am obviously good at, looking back at my life last year.
With my new valve and all, though, I have been making an effort to work yoga back in. OK. Twice so far—but hey, it has only been a little over five months, right? Anyway, last night was try No. 2. I almost didn’t make it; I ran the kids around, couldn’t find my yoga clothes, forgot about dinner.
But with two minutes to spare, I made it. Usually I go with my daughter, but she couldn’t join me last night. And—maybe some of you can relate—I got that little panic attack.
Did I hydrate enough so I don’t get palpitations? What if the room is too hot? Do they have my emergency numbers on file? Is my heart beating really loud so this guy next to me can hear it? Is this harder than usual or am I really tired?
You get the picture. But I survived, and felt pretty proud of myself that I did it. Alone.
As I have tried to exercise more, I find it hard to not be afraid. Not afraid that what happened when my conduit failed could happen again, but what can happen now with two stents and a new valve—something I have never had before. It is the not knowing that makes the doing hard. And trusting a body that failed me once makes me mistrustful of it still.
Yoga is about honoring your body and making it your practice. And for me, with my unique ticker, I am going to try. I just have to trust it again.
Hoping you all find some balance this holiday season and enjoy what is most important to you. Happy Holidays!
Kim Edgren was born in 1966 with transposition of the great arteries, pulmonary stenosis and ventricular septal defect. She recently became the proud owner of a Melody valve! When she is not trying her hand at writing she is busy spending time with her partner and three girls, managing her two child care centers and planning her next vacation.
1 comment(s) so far...
By Stephie on
12/21/2011 6:06 PM
Re: Yoga: Providing Balance for the Holidays
(((Kim))) I understand your fear of trying something new on your own, especially with your circumstances. You made it! That's great. The more we try something that we're afraid of it get's easier. I'm sure also that in particular Yoga will also help in creating calmness. I've been wanting to take a Tai Chi class, and so you've given me some insight and courage to get to it. Thanks for your post.