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Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Oct 18

Posted by: ACHA
10/18/2011 10:08 AM  RssIcon

By Stephanie Romer

“Love is a battlefield.” Having CHD sometimes feel likes a war. Combine the two and things can get ugly.

I’ve spoken to many CHDers about one of my most studied subjects—love. One CHDer in particular I became close to and exchanged many conversations about love with was our dear friend, Steve Catoe, who is deeply missed. The general consensus in our community is that we’ve all often felt hopeless in love.

We shared many stories of mean girls and mean guys who broke our already broken hearts and wouldn’t give us a chance because of our CHD (or, in pretty much all of my cases, because I cannot have children and they do not want to risk having an unhealthy baby and they refuse to adopt), but that’s beside the point. We exchanged the horrible things people have said to us and although we do not want those people in our lives anyway, that doesn’t take the pain away.

However, with our bright and relentless spirits, we keep fighting, smiling, living, and searching for what’s next. Whatever is around the corner, bring it on! After talking with many CHDers about love, I decided we need a list of positive reasons of why we are so incredibly awesome. Steve tackled the subject head on, as he often did, and although there are far more than ten reasons to love us, we had to narrow it down. I hope you enjoy the list and I strongly encourage you to create your own! Although love is a battlefield, we already have the scars and the strength to walk on and fight through anything.

Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

#10 – Admit it… scars are hot!

#9 – Our childhood wasn’t “normal” – so it’s alright if yours wasn’t either.

#8 – Listening to a CHDer’s funky heart beat and us listening to your strangely normal one encourages cuddling.

#7 – You have a built-in excuse to check out our smokin’ hot torsos.

#6 – We know from experience that vulnerability is nothing to be ashamed of and can even be a strength.

#5 – Accompanying us to our cardiology appointments can offer fabulous opportunities for travel and sightseeing!

#4 – CHDers need to trust you enough to know that you won’t let them down. If you’re dating a CHDer, you’ve been judged and found worthy.

#3 – Sternotomy scars accentuate cleavage.

#2 – We understand how precious life is and we’re not going to waste it.

#1 – CHDers know EXACTLY how to make your heart race!

Stephanie Romer was born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome, transposition of the great vessels, atrial septal defect, ventricular septal defect and severe mitral stenosis. Born and raised in Dayton, Ohio, she has had four heart surgeries. Stephanie loves to travel and constantly do new things, meet new people, experience life in new ways, and overall challenge herself. Writing and helping others, especially CHDers, are her two biggest passions in life.

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Location: Blogs Parent Separator ACHA Blog

16 comment(s) so far...


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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Loved your truths and your humor. You are one tough, lovable cookie!

By Nancy H. on   10/18/2011 6:21 PM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Love you TOP 10! I found myself nodding and literally laughing out loud in agreement. In fact, I laughed so hard my fiancee came over to see what I was giggling about. He agreed with your list! There are good guys (and gals) out there for us CHD'ers. We just have to look for the ones with special glue! ;-)

By Jen on   10/19/2011 12:28 AM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Enlarged hearts mean we have more love to give!

By Victoria Coon on   10/19/2011 12:48 AM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Love your blog and shared insights. I'm so happy to be able to walk with team Stephanie in Tampa, you will be with us in spirit. Keep on writing, you inspire all who know you!

By leslie Beech on   10/19/2011 10:36 AM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

This is great. Keep up your positive attitude and wonderful sense of humor. Keep writing. WOW!!!!

By pat williams on   10/19/2011 4:44 PM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

This is great Stephanie. love you. Keep on writing. Your resilience is wonderful. WOW!!!!!

By pat williams on   10/19/2011 4:46 PM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

really enjoyed reading your post Stephanie! nothing as healing as humor!

By nate stubbs on   10/20/2011 7:42 AM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

I love this!! It's hilarious & true!!

By Martina C on   10/20/2011 8:11 PM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Absolutely loved your Stephanie! Very clever and real!

By jennifer on   10/24/2011 8:44 PM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Stephanie,
Your post on CHD is fantastic! I came to find it though researching different CHDs for flight paramedic training. When I searched images of 'transposition of the great vessels" I didn't expect to see a picture of such a stunningly beautiful girl! Congratulations and good luck!

By Pat L on   4/6/2012 11:19 AM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

LOVE your post!!!! I am 37 years old and I have had 4 open heart surgeries and have always struggled with showing my scar! This made me smile and will hopefully make me more comfortable with myself!

By Kristi Lafrenz on   4/17/2012 8:26 AM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Love it. I am a survival specialist. .. Congenital heart defect survivor and 18 years on front a heart transplant. We have a great sense of fun and value our friends. Love new adventures. When life gets tough having our determination on your team is a massive adventure.

By Paul Savage on   2/6/2014 2:51 PM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

WTG. I have similar heart issues like yours and I'm always trying to hide my dcar.

By Tammi Yeckley on   3/27/2015 11:41 AM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

This is the most awesome post ive ever seen! Thank you for this. I have had CPS come talk to me when i was a child because someone didnt understand my scars. I remember having to constantly explain my condition and i remember always trying to cover the scars with long sleeved shirts, even through out the summers. Nowadays, i embrace my scars and i love them. I think theyre much cooler than tattoos. I also have a man in my life who loves the scars and loves me for me. He thinks surviving my condition is just an inspiration and is the most amazing thing. Most people really dont even notice my scars, but when they ask, i explain it with confidence and pride. I wouldnt be who i am if i wasnt born this way(haha). I have been lucky to only need one surgery in my life and have such a strong heart and it still goes strong.

By Krystal on   3/27/2015 12:47 PM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Awesome.....and I can't agree more. Husband #1 kept waiting for me to be *cured* after my Fontan. #2...is my knight in shining armor. He loves me.....scars, varicose veins and all.❤

By Michelle on   3/27/2015 4:37 PM
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Re: Top 10 Reasons to Date a Congenital Heart Defect Survivor

Hello. I found your story amazing and inspiration. Because I've been in and out the hospital majority of my lifetime growing up; I didnt know how to ask girls out or how to approach or react in that situation so, I've always struggled with finding a girlfriend and expressing my feelings for a female. I'm just tired of being alone all these years. I've had 6 open heart surgeries and more in the future to prolong my life. The scars I have I feel comfortable with showing them out in public was never an issue just having a sensitive chest was my concern. I'm currently a 22yr college student. I'm talking to a girl I like and would want to date but I'm waiting to feel comfortable when asking her and I don't know if she'll say yes.

By Ryan Rusch on   3/27/2015 6:35 PM

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