The Disclosing Decision
7/9/2014 1:39 PM
By Meghann Ackerman
When you stop and think about it, there’s a lot of medical talk that comes with dating. Generally, it’s focused around sexually transmitted infections and there seems to be a consensus among decent people that you disclose that sort of thing before being sexually active with a new partner.
But what about other medical issues? I’ve mentioned before that Victor isn’t big on wearing shirts, especially when it’s hot, so the fact that he had a heart condition was never really a secret. I can’t remember how long we were together before I got around to asking about the specifics, but that gnarly scar down the middle of his chest gave me the heads up that something was going on.
Thanks to new technology, more surgeries are becoming less invasive. If you’ve had surgery, but weren’t left with a large scar (or if you’re more modest than my husband), there may not be clues that tip someone off that you have a heart condition. So, when do you disclose that?
I’m sure disclosure (or not) varies from person to person and situation to situation, and as it’s something I never really dealt with, I’m curious. How did you disclose or decide not to disclose your congenital heart condition? Did it matter who you were dealing with?
Meghann Ackerman is a writer, cook, cat fancier, crafter and zombie enthusiast living in Boston. In 2011, she married Victor Morse, a graphic/web designer, video gamer, comic book reader and punster who has aortic stenosis. Armed with a poor understanding of science, Meghann is learning all she can about congenital heart defects and how they may affect her family.