1/11/2013 12:08 PM
by Stephie Goldfish
Quiet now. Be still. Listen.
Take in a deep breath. Slowly exhale. Take in a few more, deep, long inhalations, and on each exhalation, let your breath go out as far as you possibly can. Repeat.
Well, we made it past the “end of the world,” and we are well on our way into a full-fledged New Year, perhaps a new era, as some are calling this time.
When I first met my former therapist, she noticed my anxiety level, and said that I must be the most anxious person she’s ever been in the presence of. I realized then that I needed to not talk about anything, but to just breathe, relax, and get myself calmed down.
Typically, my heart fluctuates at an average rate to the rhythm and beat of this song by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam with Full Force, “Can You Feel the Beat.” The other night, though, after a hustle-and-bustle day, and after the noise settled, I lay down, and, for the first time, I heard an artery or valve swish or open and close. It felt like the sudden sound of a faucet being turned on and off or the sound the engine makes when it starts or shuts off. I began taking deep breaths, and my heart calmed down to a normal rhythm.
It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson about breathing. And it is difficult to find that balance in each of us. Sometimes my heart calms down to a moderate rhythm of Faith Hill’s “Breathe.”
Sometimes we have to step back and let our hearts do their thing, instead of us always thinking we have to be somewhere, do something, or even say anything.
And I see this happening within my circles of friends and family.
While I was hospitalized back in 1996 for about six weeks, I felt this urgency every morning to wake up and call family members and friends to make sure they were still alive and breathing. And my doctor said, at the time, let someone worry about you for a change. So, I have learned to let go of circumstances that I have no control over, speak truth about them, and see how things work out.
There are times to step in and make a difference in someone else’s life. And we will know when to, if we have changed our lives and listened to our hearts.
We can’t be everything to everyone, but we can be something to some or someone who will really appreciate us. And this is what I know to be true. I have sounded like a brass band at times, and sometimes don’t know when to just stop and breathe.
So, now, friends, I leave you with this song, and a reminder to remember to breathe in and breathe out.
Stephie Goldfish, aka Stephanie Hodgson, was born with a large ventricular septal defect, but it wasn't diagnosed until age 17. Since her defect went unrepaired, this resulted in Eisenmenger’s physiology, and she has developed severe secondary pulmonary hypertension. Stephie is an artist who graduated at the top of her class from The Art Institute of Pittsburgh; she is currently pursuing her love of writing, and writes short stories and poetry, as well as nonfiction. Learn more at her website and personal blog.
Copyright ©2013 ACHA
2 comment(s) so far...
By Cindy Almand on
1/11/2013 6:13 PM
Re: Turn On Your Heartlight Now
A wonderful message for all of us, whatever our circumstances. Loved the music link.
By Damaris Segarra on
1/14/2013 12:55 PM
Re: Turn On Your Heartlight Now
It is so true. I also tend to worry more about family and friends and forget to pace myself and later pay the price for it. Usually with migraines, feeling flustered and overwhelmed, and palpitations when I really over due it. So it is very important to take a breather for every ones benefit especially our own.